ASHLEIGH ALDER COUNSELLING
Counsellor &Â Advocate
When we look beyond ourselves and acknowledge others, we build the connections necessary for healing. Our differences, whether cultural, racial, gender-based or sexual, become surface. Feelings are the ties that bind. They run deep creating and supporting bonds with loved ones while enabling empathy, compassion, and vulnerability, foundational qualities present in all healthy, loving and relationships. Vulnerability is the ability to express our emotions safely with those around us, however, too often we are taught to mask our feelings.
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Sadly, our world focuses too often on the differences between us and ignores the similarities connecting us all. By widening the relational-divide our emotions are invalidated, causing isolation, loneliness, and poor overall health. We deny ourselves and others the opportunity for connection. Connection built on one's ability to be vulnerable and authentic.
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We are beautifully diverse. Be it the colour of our skin, country of birth, religious beliefs, or emotions felt who we are should be celebrated and shared with those around us.
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Our thoughts and feelings can muddy the waters, rendering us overwhelmed and directionless. My role as your counsellor and advocate is to wade these waters and provide guidance as you navigate the rocky shores. In time, your capacity for self-compassion and respect will strengthen, resulting in greater self-love and awareness. With this renewed appreciation for community and genuine connection life becomes fuller and each moment more rewarding.
HONOURING DIVERSITY
To begin healing, we must grow compassion for ourselves and others. Relational-cultural therapy (RCT) and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) embrace diversity and the complicated relationships and emotions we experience collectively and individually. While EFT focuses on the relationship between an individual and their feelings, RCT explores the shared experience of emotions suppressed, felt and supported by people and their communities. Commonalities exist between us all. This experiential and emotional overlap provides us with an opportunity for shared meaning, regardless of sex, gender, race or culture. Understanding your emotions, you will become ever-more compassionate and respectful of the people in your life.
RELATIONAL-CULTURAL THERAPY
Relational-cultural therapy is a collectivist approach to care, which seeks to reconnect people with themselves and their environment. Working to create a common ground between us all, RCT recognizes the multitude of variations society offers. Historically, western society has regarded emotionality as detrimental, associating it negatively with femininity. Labelling emotions, feminine or masculine, is oppressive and diminishes their vital importance to our mental and physical well-being. We are socially oriented beings, insightful by nature we grow when empowered by others; these are indelible human truths.
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You are the expert in your life. I am interested in getting to know you, and I will ask questions about your childhood, family traditions, and cultural, religious background. Through this curiosity, we will reflect on feelings and values, appreciating them for their intended purpose. We will acknowledge the positive and negative impacts in our lives by bringing awareness to the strength and courage involved when recalling and experiencing pain. The implications of these experiences' will help me appreciate your worldview, establishing a therapeutic alliance based on mutual respect and positive regard.
EMOTION-FOCUSED THERAPY
Society can be invalidating and emotionally restrictive. Relational-cultural therapy recognizes our world's diversity and supports healing through community reconnection, while emotion-focused therapy empowers emotionality.
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I am honoured to support people as they begin, again, to reconnect with themselves. Be it: sadness, anger, jealousy, or joy, emotions enrich our lives. Working together, you will become attuned to the effects particular emotions produce, both thoughtfully and physically. We will explore your body's diverse ability to react and cope, and you will begin to sit with your feelings and describe the sensations elicited. Recalling traumatic events from your past and present can be difficult; however, with my help and unwavering positive regard, the process of healing will begin.